Tuesday 25 October 2011
Friday 21 October 2011
Found
Opening a box I haven't looked in since before I moved to Holmfirth in January this year, I found some drawings for a T-Shirt I designed and also some writing from when I did my exhibition last year.
I wanted to document my writing as I don't think I have anywhere else, and I'm wanting to throw a lot of 'stuff' away.
"I have created three films which play simultaneously, demonstrating how the mind captures memories and also to discover whether memories fade altogether or are just hidden away for a future trigger.
I waved between more personalised understanding of my own memories, to memories others have and how much might be remembered or lost over time. In the past few years mainly working with film as a medium, I have created an installation here that is in keeping with how memories evolve and are stored in my mind. My memories, and also others, are like a montage of tiny snippets of time and past events.
Having lived through a traumatic experience in my life I feel that this has given me an insight and a chance to look at how your mind can process and evolve through that difficult time. For myself, as I am sure many more have felt, a tiny trigger can set off a whole whirlwind of memories and feelings; a smell, a word, a sound or a touch, can create an inferno of dreams, nightmares and flashbacks, putting you on tenterhooks, constantly on guard or throw you into a hyper vigilant state.
I have explored this issue previously by illustrating how painful memories can either be repressed, or become the continual focus of our thoughts, as in post traumatic stress disorder. Repressing memories can be a coping mechanism and the only way some people protect themselves. Whereas with post traumatic stress disorder a traumatic experience can trigger a reaction, which can be multifaceted, either symptoms of numbness and avoidance or nightmares and flashbacks, as I mention before.
Super 8 film, I feel, gives a similar angle to this concept - the idea of once the film has snapped, melted or scratched it can never be retrieved to its original perfect state - is this what happens to our repressed memories?
My own memories seem to play on repeat - sometimes grainy and scratched - sometimes melted and faded - and sometimes as clear as a sunny winter day but on a continual loop. The mix of new shiny footage alongside something completely worn - it seems such a perfect collaboration between the two, quite like digital and film - film seems to be like a fading memory, but hopefully not a forgotten one.."
x X x
I wanted to document my writing as I don't think I have anywhere else, and I'm wanting to throw a lot of 'stuff' away.
"I have created three films which play simultaneously, demonstrating how the mind captures memories and also to discover whether memories fade altogether or are just hidden away for a future trigger.
I waved between more personalised understanding of my own memories, to memories others have and how much might be remembered or lost over time. In the past few years mainly working with film as a medium, I have created an installation here that is in keeping with how memories evolve and are stored in my mind. My memories, and also others, are like a montage of tiny snippets of time and past events.
Having lived through a traumatic experience in my life I feel that this has given me an insight and a chance to look at how your mind can process and evolve through that difficult time. For myself, as I am sure many more have felt, a tiny trigger can set off a whole whirlwind of memories and feelings; a smell, a word, a sound or a touch, can create an inferno of dreams, nightmares and flashbacks, putting you on tenterhooks, constantly on guard or throw you into a hyper vigilant state.
I have explored this issue previously by illustrating how painful memories can either be repressed, or become the continual focus of our thoughts, as in post traumatic stress disorder. Repressing memories can be a coping mechanism and the only way some people protect themselves. Whereas with post traumatic stress disorder a traumatic experience can trigger a reaction, which can be multifaceted, either symptoms of numbness and avoidance or nightmares and flashbacks, as I mention before.
Super 8 film, I feel, gives a similar angle to this concept - the idea of once the film has snapped, melted or scratched it can never be retrieved to its original perfect state - is this what happens to our repressed memories?
My own memories seem to play on repeat - sometimes grainy and scratched - sometimes melted and faded - and sometimes as clear as a sunny winter day but on a continual loop. The mix of new shiny footage alongside something completely worn - it seems such a perfect collaboration between the two, quite like digital and film - film seems to be like a fading memory, but hopefully not a forgotten one.."
x X x
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